they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
