Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
