Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
