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We're facebook friends in real life
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
