So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
