I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
