My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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