susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
