i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize