Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
