I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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