You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
