They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
