Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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