id be glad to
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
