with your own penis?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
