Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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