He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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