You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I would fuck him just for his dog
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
