My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
