Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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