turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
