I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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