FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
