I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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