i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize