Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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