Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
