great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
