Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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