i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So vagazzling was a success
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
