I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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