is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
