Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So much Jack, so little girl.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
