No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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