lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
