Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
