New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
