Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
