Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
