i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
