he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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