So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
