people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
