all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I deserve this hangover.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
