Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
