she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
