we should wear snuggies to the strip club
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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