Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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