I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
wow bdsm is so cute
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