Quick, to the slutcave!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
