I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
