She's JV to your varsity
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
