so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize