The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
