I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize