what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
